It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had to cum in my sink.
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