Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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