Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
