i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize