There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont even know how to be here
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
