yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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