We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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