I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
