he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
