found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
