I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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