Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
