apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
