Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize