Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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