And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
