It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
