Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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