Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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