Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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