i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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