did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
