i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
