i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
