Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
