I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
