About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
