It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
