yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
