Pants 0. Shit 1.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is classic penis vs brain.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
