he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
