i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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