Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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