apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
