Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
