Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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