I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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