I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
