His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
