i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
