If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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