Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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