oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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