I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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