Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize