Its about making memories worth repressing
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
