Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
