In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
