Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
