How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
