I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
