Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I love you.
Bad choice
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