my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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