i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dicks are not precious.
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