he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
