I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
