ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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