Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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