i don't like sucking hair
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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