I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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