i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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