I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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