you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
