at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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