the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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