the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize