I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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