K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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