I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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