dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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