I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
