why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize