I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
