what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
