She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
